It’s 2020, we’ve all been conducted reviews of what went well, or not so well in 2019 (if you haven’t done this review yet and want to take a peek at the 21 Questions I’m Asking Myself for 2020 free pdf download, then click here to join my free Facebook group and grab your copy!)and one of the things I’ve been looking at is the books that I’ve read.
It’s a surprise to absolutely no-one that knows me that I am a bookworm, a researcher extraordinaire and the user of ridiculously complex words for effect (see extraordinaire above). One of the things that I most struggled with when I realised ‘burnout’ was a term that applied to me, was finding other people that had also experienced this struggle, an understanding of how to get myself back out of it.
When I couldn’t find someone to help me specifically with burnout (and oh how that situation has changed in 6 years), I turned to books for more guidance and support. That’s where my addiction began, coupled with Amazon’s Daily Kindle 99p deal, fast forward a few years and I have 3 x 6ft bookcases filled to the brim and a Kindle with more than 300 books on it. But I also have less time than ever before, want to read more than I ever have and well, I hoard knowledge like you wouldn’t believe.
I have a big goal for research and development this year, as there are a large number of books burning their way into my psyche and through my bedside table, but here are the books I read in 2019 that had the biggest impact on me, and might do on you too.
Before we go any further, please be aware that this post contains affiliate links, which means that I may receive a commission if you click through and purchase, but at no cost to you. Affiliate links are marked with an asterisk *
This doesn’t change my opinion and I bought each of these books myself - although affiliate commissions are always welcome to help me buy even more books. I have a problem, really I do…
First up, we all knew that there was going to be some Brené Brown on this list, so let’s just get straight to it shall we? I love Brené Brown’s books and they regularly feature in the bookclub held within The Resilience Academy. This year, I (along with my Resilience Academy members) read Braving the Wilderness*, and in 2018 I read The Gifts of Imperfection* and Daring Greatly*, both of which I would highly recommend.
The tagline for Braving the Wilderness* is ‘the quest for true belonging and the courage to stand alone’ which hit me right where I live. In the past year I have had numerous issues of being told I didn’t ‘belong’, by other burnout mentors/coaches, by several groups on Linkedin who didn’t like my opinions, but also by myself. Stepping out of the career I had worked my whole life for took courage, yes, but there is this gap that arises in between taking action and seeing results, that can truly test your patience, faith and resilience.
Time and again I see people who come to me asking for help, support, guidance, a kick up the backside because the way they are living and working isn’t working for them, but perhaps for every 20 people who reach out to me asking for help, only 1 goes on to work with me (god knows how many hundreds or thousands are silently watching from the shadows… that’s a mental image!).
More often than not, particularly in our type of people (people pleasers struggling with imposter syndrome, overworking to prove their worthiness to everyone around them but failing to prove it to themselves), fitting in and hiding feels safer than standing out. That is why people who make great strides recovering fro burnout often go back to their old habits; because it feels more safe, more comfortable and less nerve-shredding than to create those new habits of saying no, asking for their worth or becoming comfortable with potentially displeasing someone for the greater good of their life.
This book came at the perfect time for me, as it helped me identify what true and real belonging meant to me (connecting with my clients, friends and family, disregarding the chatter or outright bullying online) but also getting clear that standing on my own, even when it comes with rotten tomatoes lobbed from the cheap seats, well it’s ok so long as I know what I’m truly standing for. if you’re ready to create real and effective change, then this is definitely a book for you.
Who Moved My Cheese* is one of those books that almost everyone with a self-development streak owns. Originally published in the last 1990’s, it’s sold over 20 million copies and for good reason. It’s a very slim volume (my physical copy is less than 100 pages long with the largest type I’ve ever seen in a print book!) but it’s an entertaining allegorical tale about mice in a maze and how each of the characters deals with change.
The tale itself isn’t particularly deep and it won’t take you long at all to read, but it isn’t about the initial story. It’s about the conversations that follow.
I first read the book a number of years back when I was still working as a lawyer and it was all too easy to start classifying my colleagues (and even lawyers on the other side, clients or other law firms) in to Sniff, Scurry, Hem and Haw. Noticing how our behaviours, particularly our fear-driven behaviours, are underpinned by the four character archetypes is eyeopening and a brilliant way in to examining your behaviours; after all, if you’re comparing yourself to an allegorical mouse, you’re almost certainly going to laugh instead of cry about it!
This is one of those books that I pick up probably once a year or more, and given it is so slim and so easy to read, it’s a bit of a no-brainer to pick up!
No, this one isn’t that book by that lady to tells you to only keep things that spark joy, although it’s title is definitely a riff on the original. The Life Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck* isn’t for the faint-hearted, as Sarah Knight is one of those takes no prisoners, shoots from the hip kind of people who says it like it is (hmm… wonder why I like her?).
This was another Resilience Academy bookclub book this year and probably one of my favourites for very quickly switching up your mindset from the classic imposter syndrome ‘oh no, what will they thing of me, I need to be seen to be doing the right thing’ to ‘but hold on a minute…right for who…?’
Some of you know that I’m delving deeper into philosophy and in particular the classic Stoic philosophy of the Romans and Greeks (take the girl out of law but the latin still claws it’s way into her soul) and there is a very stoic heart to the theory that we all in fact have a fuck budget of fucks to give, and it is important that we use those fucks wisely and on the things that matter most to us and will have the greatest impact.
One of my favourite sections is when Sarah talks about not wanting to go to a pub in a certain part of New York to do a pub quiz night because she can’t stand it. We’ve all said yes to things that we wish we had said no to, if only we had had the balls. Well, here she walks you, step by step, not only through why you don’t want to and therefore shouldn’t go, but how to do it in a way that won’t leave your friends and family hating you (including a handy-dandy little tool that would aaaaalmost be manipulative if it wasn’t so brilliant!).
This isn’t some lofty tome written by people who live in sterile environments and wear white without spillages (something of the tone I love about Brene Brown’s books too, you just know you could curl up with a cup of coffee and chat to these people all day without judgement). It’s real, pragmatic and straight to the point. As you can probably guess from the front page, there are a number of other books in the series, which are on my kindle. Waiting to be read. If I ever finish writing this blog….)
Finally I couldn’t leave without sharing one of the bajillion books written by my friend and mentor, Katrina Ruth (or the artist formerly known as Kat Loterzo if you’re looking for her on Amazon). Kat is prolific, having self published more than forty books and putting out a 2,000+ word blog every day since she burst onto the internet more than a decade ago, a production rate which I definitely aspire to!
Many of her books relate to online business, but this one is all about journalling, a tool that I love (and have several courses centred on, such as the What-How-Why Journalling Bootcamp, Pen Paper Perspective and a few other courses that need to make their way to my main training hub!)
Journal and Make Sh*t Happen* is one of my go-to’s as a great reminder of journalling exercises that I haven’t used in some time, ways of reconsidering any problems and just a great refresher whenever I feel my pen and paper game getting a bit stale. Best of all, it’s free to read thanks to my Kindle Unlimited subscription* (think local library for your kindle!). If you want to give Kindle Unlimited* a whirl for 30 days for free, click here! Thereafter it’s £7.99 a month and you can cancel at any time.
There are plenty more books on my list that I would recommend (and honestly, a few I wish I hadn’t wasted the time reading, sadly), but if you are looking for a book focused on recovering from burnout then I do have one final recommendation to share here, and…. it’s mine.
(Yep, I went there. Not going to apologise either).
This summer I started writing Burnout: The User’s Guide to help people who feel like they have stumbled headlong into burnout to understand more deeply was burnout is (and therefore how we’ve gotten there) what it is not (and why you shouldn’t blame yourself) and some of my best tools and techniques to help you start your recovery.
It is now in the final stages of editing and will be available on the Amazon Kindle store shortly, but you can pre-order a copy from me directly and access:
All the raw chapters as I wrote them
The final edited copies
A kindle ebook version as soon as it’s released there
Behind the scenes snippets
AND tools and resources that I have loaded in to the member’s area to get you started on recovery straight away.
I don’t think I need to point out that you get so much more pre-ordering from me directly than just buying the ebook through Kindle, do I?
Click here for all the details and to start reading straight away!
PS If you want to spend more time focusing on self development and creating real resilience to prevent burnout and overwhelm in 2020 then my intensive January course Start 2020 Strong and Supported is something you should check out!
Held exclusively within The Resilience Academy, my low cost monthly membership programme, the intensive includes a series of four workshops, resources and tools dropped throughout the month and you also get two 20 minute mentoring sessions with me throughout the month (valued at £80 alone!).
Whilst there’s no obligation to stay with The Resilience Academy after the January intensive is over, February will see the recommencement of our monthly bookclub sessions, keeping you on track with your self development reading, delving deeper into the themes of the books and of course, getting one to one time with me each month to help your implementation.
