Fear and shame are powerful driving forces. It’s the fear of not being good enough and shame of admitting our struggle that drives us into the arms of burnout in the first place. Comforted by the thought that we can just work harder, longer hours, that we need another certificate or qualification to make us safe, that the next promotion will mean we are good enough. Until we realise that these are lies we tell ourselves, like bribing a small child with a lollipop to keep quiet on the long journey ahead.
I first stumbled over the term burnout in the middle of yet another day at work where it had all been getting on top of me. I had arrived exhausted, no matter how much work I did the to do list never seemed to go anywhere but up and as all my exhaustion and fears and doubts and anxieties rose to the surface, I ran to the toilet in tears.
Googling ‘why am I so exhausted’ I stumbled across this old opinion piece about burnout in priests. I couldn’t identify at all but was so intrigued by the concept of clergy-burnout that I kept reading. Sure enough it was all laid out in front of me.
Exhaustion. Overwhelm. Feeling a distance or negativity towards the work, the mission we signed up for. Feeling like it was all too much.
Heartened that there was a term that encapsulated so much of what I was thinking and feeling I googled burnout. Let’s just say that it wasn’t a great thing to google in 2013/2014.
There were no solutions.
Or if there were solutions it was in this fatalistic ‘you’ll always struggle with this’ kind of way. I’ve honestly heart addiction talked about in more positive terms than burnout was at that stage.
There was this hopelessness, like burnout was some kind of terminal disease that could only be held at bay rather than cured. The ‘solutions’ offered included quitting your job, finding work that involved less stress or personal motivation (which felt like career and personality suicide to me) or taking a long, extended period away from work. To do what, I don’t know and really, who has the means or motivation to quit their job and just…sit…. for months on end.
I was furious and heartbroken that there was this label that applied so perfectly to what I felt and had experienced. I was terrified about what burnout meant about me as a person - I thought it meant that I was some kind of precious little princess who just couldn’t hack it or that I was cursed with a predisposition to some extreme stress response. It felt so wrong - I knew I was resilient, I knew I was smart and I couldn’t believe that that was just the end of it all.
Being the stubborn cow that I am, I started DIY-ing solutions. I was determined to find a way out of burnout. I refused to believe that burnout was a terminal career diagnosis.
Now, fast forward 6 years and I know that that’s not the case.
I know that burnout happens to brilliant and bright people because they overwork, over-care and over-give. I know that burnout is on a spectrum that runs from perfectly happy and healthy to strung out, exhausted and fearful and that it isn’t a one way street to the end of your career, instead it fluctuates up and down and can be influenced in myriad ways.
After hundreds of hours of client work and thousands of hours experimenting on myself like some kind of mad scientist I know what works - stress resilience, boundaries, reconnecting with the meaning in your career and redrawing your job description (or actually focusing on what your job description is instead of all the other crap you’re currently doing with additional pay or recognition). I know what doesn’t work - putting it off and sticking your head in the sand like an over-achieving ostrich, thinking a green juice or a single avocado is going to fix your life (avocado toast I love you, but let’s not pretend you’re more than you are).
I also know what burnout means - and what it doesn’t mean.
It means that you’re smart and bright and driven and go-getting and will do anything to create a difference and help the people you care about, whether they are your staff, your co-workers, your clients or patients, your family and friends.
I know that you will self-sacrifice like a post-modern Joan of Arc. Who needs burning at the stake when we have death by a literal thousand papercuts.
I know that your personality type means that you derive meaning and self-worth from extrinsic factors, like your job title, your pay and the work that you are doing rather than your inherent intrinsic self-worth. I know that you are desperate for someone to tell you that you’re doing a good job, to acknowledge just how hard you are working and to bring you a cup of tea and tell you it’s ok to stop now.
Burnout doesn’t mean you’re lacking in resilience or an idiot who can’t hack it - it means you have been pushing too hard for too long. It means nothing except it’s time to take a momentary step back and focus on what you really want to achieve - because if, like me, you are in this for the long haul, if you want to go all the way, and you want to live a full life that doesn’t just focus on one aspect, like say your billing or your clients, but also has real meaning and worth and richness for you, then you have got to make some changes.
I couid talk about this all day, and frequently do, but if you are worried about burnout - if you are concerned that you might be burning out, or think you already have, worry about relapsing, not entirely sure what burnout is all about, want to know how to start identifying managing and reversing burnout, then this is for you.
I am hosting The Burnout Workshop in the coming week. This is a one-hour online workshop where we are going to go deeper into what burnout is, why it happens to some people and not others, how to identify burnout and real practical steps to take to manage and reverse burnout - without quitting your job or putting yourself on extended leave.
Included in the workshop will be a full pdf workbook of my notes for you to take away and keep, lifetime access to the recorded replay of the workshop
PLUS - I’ve added an extra bonus! Join the workshop before the end of the day on Monday and receive the 17 page Happiness + Resilience workbook as my gift, worth £15