How many times in your life have you been told that you're unreasonable, that you want too much, that you expect too much?
It's supposedly the curse of millennials; that we were raised with no concept of our own fallibility, of our limits or lack, and some will tell you that it's everything that's wrong with Generation Millennial; 'oh they got trophies just for taking part, they don't understand the value of true hard work'.
(often said by a baby boomer with an expanding waist line and receding hairline, but I generalise and snark)
I don't think that's quite right.
There is absolutely fucking nothing wrong with desiring more. More time, more energy, more ability, more freedom, more happiness. Seriously, what could be wrong with that? Who, beyond the most miserly could criticise someone for wanting more happiness in their life?
The issue I have isn't with desiring more. It's with acting less.
An interesting exercise that I have been carrying out with my core tribe over in the Private Members Club (not a member yet? It's free to join!) was to ask them to set out, in writing, in so much detail they could feel it with every one of their senses, what their best day at work would be.
Without fail those who took part were astonished by what they found. Realisations that, if they were happy in what they were doing they would do different tasks, speak to different people, make time for friends and colleagues, that hadn't even occurred to them because they were too busy running on a treadmill to tasks and to-do's.
What they also found also amazing was discovering their immediate push back reaction at the thought of a perfect day. Comments along the lines of 'as if that's ever going to happen...your expectations are too high...you know the stress will take over the minute you walk into the office...'.
They were so conditioned to expect less that the very concept of more was unacceptable.
This didn't really surprise me.
You see I spent years working myself into a frenzy with thoughts of 'I ought to do this' or 'this is how it HAS to be' without a thought about whether that statement was true, never mind whether I actually valued it.
If you desire it, if it will make your life and the lives of those around you better, if it doesn't harm anybody and has the capacity to make life so much better for you and others then seriously, what is the worst that could happen?
But in order to get there you have to unpick the negative thought patterns that have you playing small, have you working all the bullshit tasks that you could delegate if you weren't scared of looking like a bitch or thinking that you weren't important enough. Of keeping to patterns and routines that you know don't serve you
(hint: if you're reading this blog it's because you are burned out, exhausted, overwhelmed and may at one point or another considered leaving your otherwise awesome career because you just don't know if you can hack it for another 30 years. I am talking directly to you my love and I can tell you, those patterns of behaviour aren't serving you because if they were, you wouldn't be here!).
How to do that?
Well, you'll need to start with perspective, guidance and support. But you already knew that, didn't you?
Take care of yourself
Leah
Searching for Serenity
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