This is going to be a super interesting blog because, on the one hand, I'm sharing my experiences this week. On the other... well I might be about to piss off a whole bunch of people.

Let's see how that goes shall we?

This week has been an incredibly interesting one. On the one hand, struggle and strife and on the other, well let's just say that the universe has a sense of humour and for once I'm laughing with it instead of feeling like the butt of the joke.

Most people don't approach pain and struggle the way I do. Most people see it as something to be avoided, something to stay away from, something that nice people don't do.

I've never been all that 'nice' ;-)

Me, I see it as a learning opportunity. A time to reflect and reconsider an throw out some of the rubbish I've been hauling around with me.

I get that most people don't get it, that's ok, this wasn't meant for you.

This was meant for those who have walked through the fire, burned on the pyre and been reborn like the phoenix.

(Figuratively, of course. Although I have been told this week that I'm a witch, a doppelgänger and that I can read minds so...)

Quite frankly, you don't go through the crap I've been through without garnering a healthy appreciation for growth, an ability to adapt to almost anything life throws at you and to be able to smile at the ironies along the way.

(Or you don't, and spend your life blaming others and wondering why you find yourself in the same situation over. And over. And over. And over)

Of course, I've struggled with it.

I've shared the times I've been sat on the floor crying, feeling like a failure.
I've shared so many parts of my breakdown into burnout, heartache, grief, depression and anxiety.

Why do I share all of it?

Because I'm proof.

That you can pick yourself back up.
That grief and heartache are not going to keep you small and in pain forever.
That you can struggle with your mental health and still be an amazing human being with the capacity for empathy.
That burning out doesn't mean the end of your career unless you want it to be.

That if I can do it, you can do it too.
To show that what I do works, and that I'm here to fast track you through the messy, sticky, nasty parts if you want my help.

And that's great, people love this part. Oh you can help me.

Sure, I can help you.
I can advise you.
I can show you what I know.

But I can't do it for you.

Let me repeat. I. cannot. Do it. For. You.

There are some key ingredients that, without which, we cannot bake this chocolate cake of a fabulous life you want.

Like drive and determination.
A willingness to set your ego to one side and listen.
The sheer force of will that has you putting all other considerations to one side to make it happen.

In the past couple of weeks I have been told by various people:

- I want to work with you but I just can't afford it right now. (I get it, sometimes the money is not there. But I'll move heaven and earth to try and make it happen)

- I don't have the time (to do what, create a life that isn't killing you? Ok!)

- I'm not brave enough yet (god I get this - I feel this way every single day. Like right now, writing this blog knowing that I might just piss off some people that I dearly love. But I'm going to do it because if you're not daring greatly, what is even the point?)

- I want to make this work but I don't know where to start (Hi! That's where I come in!)

I want to be clear. I do not judge anyone for saying these things. I do not judge anyone for believing these things.

I have totally empathy for them because I have been where they are standing, feeling what they are feeling.

So what changed?

I did.

Because what it also tells me... is that these people are not there yet.

They're not prepared to do what it takes to get what they want.

I know, that sounds like masculine macho-man crap, but it's also true.

Those people are still prepared to be downtrodden, put upon and pushed around rather than stand their ground and be prepared to push right back. It’s more comfortable to stay where you are, even with the pain of the present, than take a leap into the unknown.

I didn't have the money when I worked with my first coach. Hell, I usually don't have the cash sitting there, but I invest in the things that I can't not, knowing I will find a way.

I didn't exactly have a bunch of spare time when I first started on this journey; commuting 3 hours a day and then zipping up and down the motorway for work and running a first business and then a second business on top of my full time plus job, travelling around the country for the day job, or the jewellery business. What I did was get really good at figuring out what was most important to me and saying 'screw it' to the rest. Housework will always come dead last after my work, my clients, creating, spending time with my pets and my partner and sleep. I got used to listening to audiobooks as I zipped up the motorway and writing new courses in snatched 20 minute breaks at work. The work works when you work it.

By the way, anyone who tells me that they don't have the time and then asks me if I've watched Celebrity Big Brother/Dancing on Ice/Strictly Come Dancing or some other nonsense, should remove themselves from my immediate vicinity before I enter full rant mode.

I have never been the bravest of people; I once got up on stage at school assembly and went bright red and lost my voice. I used be terrified to speak up in class for fear of bullies mocking me and it took 3 full years of practising law before I didn't turn red every time I spoke in front of more than 3 people.

I felt sick with nerves when I went on television to talk about stress last year; when I was interviewed for a magazine article; when I quit my job with zero safety net or much of a plan besides 'make it work'.

You want a great life? Get used to feeling uncomfortable. I wish I could sugarcoat it for you but that's all there is.

And as for not knowing where to start - get advice. Get a mentor. Find a group of women who will support you. Get your head into skills training. Start somewhere, anywhere, rather than staying stuck where you are (and by the way, I offer ALL of these things in Searching for Serenity because I've been there and done it and got the t-shirt and build a business out of it).

Oh and by the way, when you really decide that something has to happen, then it does.

Get incredibly clear about what you desire.
Decide you're going to have it.
Get help.
Take inspired action.
Repeat.

The blanks fill in as you go.

So my question to you, my invitation to you today is to ask yourself.... Am I truly prepared to do the work, to make it work, to refuse everything until it does work?

If you feel anything less than inspired, ready and looking for the next step, then maybe it's simply not your time yet.

Maybe you're prepared to compromise, to be let down, to struggle. Maybe it’s just not painful enough yet, maybe popping it on the old fashioned weighing scales doesn’t show up enough of an imbalance yet.

Make no mistake - your 'fuck it' moment will come.

And when it does, it has nothing to do with ready cash or bravery or time.

This week I connected with a brilliant woman who messaged me to say that within 8 minutes of finding me, she had signed up to one of my courses. Never met me before, and in under 10 minutes had taken action on what she wanted.

3 months ago, I made an offer to work with me 1:1 and a woman who had been in receipt of my emails for less than 24 hours said yes - within 2 hours of her saying yes we were on the phone. It will come as no surprise that she has made a complete 180 in the way that she approaches her work and life, the way she supports and cares for herself.

Why did these women do this? Because they saw an opportunity that aligned with their desires and made the leap.

Like I said, get comfortable with feeling uncomfortable if you want to live an incredible life!

PS I've got to ask you. How long are you going to stand there, hiding around the edges. Peeking in, getting involved and running off again.

You think that I don't see you, but I do. I see you get brave and then watch it evaporate. I see you do all the work, and then let it all fall apart in the face of struggle.

I am inviting four people to work with me 1:1 for the next 12 weeks.

The people who work with me are smart, driven, ambitious, overly so, and keep crashing back down into illness or depression and anxiety or hitting brick walls.

Maybe you're leaping from job to job hoping it will improve and seeing the same problems come up again and again.

Maybe you're beginning to realise that you have got zero boundaries and let people run roughshod over you (I'll take the on-call phone again this weekend, I'll do the unpaid overtime whilst you piss off to the pub).

Maybe you're beginning to resent your employers, your clients, yourself even, because the sheer amount of work you're putting in to your career doesn't seem to be paying anywhere near the kind of reward you expected.

You're not afraid of hard work, of getting your hands dirty, of asking for help but here you are, again, exhausted and drained, tired and confused and wondering when the actual fuck your life was supposed to be enjoyable again.

I'm inviting you to work with me, starting February. We are going to change it all.

Over the course of 12 weeks you will have my unlimited support via email and messenger, as well as 6 hour long video calls with me, held at bi-weekly intervals. I work with people all around the globe - provided we can find you an hour once a fortnight and an internet connection or sufficiently charged phone, we are good to go!

Whether it's time to stop letting work take over your week, whether you're struggling with your current work and looking to carry out a career pivot, or whether you're about ready to burn the whole thing down and disappear to live in a hut in Bali; it's time to start living a life you love instead of this work-eat-sleep-repeat existence you're stuck in.

Right now I have 4 places open to work with me, and you can spread the cost over 4 months.

Places are deliberately limited because of the time and energy I invest in my clients and the results that we achieve together and because I know that in order to do my best work, I need to take care of myself by not overworking (that right there is gold. Whether you work with me or not, go and implement that right now!)

Message me in complete confidence to discuss whether it’s right for you, or get started by clicking here